thinking...

So last night I went back to church...
It was the first time I've gone in a while. Since my cousin left for basic training.
But last night my pastor closed the service with this question:
"What has being Christian cost you?"

It reminded me of why I started going to church to begin with. Manchester Christian Church... My ex had brought me one day, and i fell in love with it. And I was in love with him. Unfortunately, he moved to Florida, and I made a bunch of promises that I couldnt keep. But last summer my cousin got me going back to church. Shiloh Ministeries is now my home church. But what Dave said last night really got me thinking... What have I given up to be Christian?

Today, I realized that a lot of friendships I could have kept, I ended up losing because they didnt have the same values that i do. A lot of romantic relationships I've given up because they werent christian and didnt have the same values that I do.

But on that same note... Kevin is not a christian. He goes with me to church to support me and because he isn't judged there, and because he finds it kind of "cool." But he is not saved. And I dont plan on giving him up. So does that mean I'm choosing my boyfriend over my religion, when my ex boyfriend is the one that brought me into the light and essentially saved me?

I'm so lost right now, and I need God's will to help me find my way back. Please, comment on this if you can understand... And i will pray for you.